June 14th, 1998
The art of avoiding personal ignorance
and escaping emotional suicide,
are the two pieces of rubberband
keeping my burning model airplane off the ground.
Not that it's a hell of a lot of fun right now anyway.
But the act of giving up,
even in the face of the obvious,
is the one thing that I'm pretty sure
I could never do, despite my consistancy.
Not that I wouldn't put much past myself.
Sometimes I feel proud of my failures and perversions.
A guy's gotta feel confident about something,
and if the hero job's been filled
then I guess I get to play the loser.
The way I try to look at it—
when I'm not venting through a bottle of Bud,
is that at least I'm in the damned movie.